For the longest times I lived by faking my emotions.
I would swallow them down, and gag on them.
I would gather up my sadness, ignore my loneliness, and run as fast as I could from fear.
As a girl I would watch others around me take on the weight of the world they lived in, as they were crushed with every emotion.
So I came to the conclusion that I must bottle up my emotions if I were ever to have a chance at escaping trauma.
I never wanted to be burdened with such heavy emotions, so I became the silent one who never cried.
But after all the time I spent gulping down the gallons of negative emotion, it began to settled down deep inside me like a lurking tumor.
As time drew on, this tumor of negative emotions began to turn fatal.
My anger mixed with my sadness, eventually multiplying into depression.
I would swallow them down, and gag on them.
I would gather up my sadness, ignore my loneliness, and run as fast as I could from fear.
As a girl I would watch others around me take on the weight of the world they lived in, as they were crushed with every emotion.
So I came to the conclusion that I must bottle up my emotions if I were ever to have a chance at escaping trauma.
I never wanted to be burdened with such heavy emotions, so I became the silent one who never cried.
But after all the time I spent gulping down the gallons of negative emotion, it began to settled down deep inside me like a lurking tumor.
As time drew on, this tumor of negative emotions began to turn fatal.
My anger mixed with my sadness, eventually multiplying into depression.
Now as I look back, I have come to realize that during that time in my life, I only wanted my sadness to be noticed.
Somewhere deep inside of me was my true self begging for someone to shed the false exterior, so that some love could be pored in the cracks of my heart. I wanted someone to quickly pull me aside with intent and ask if everything was okay, so that FINALLY I could share the sorrow that had been building up.
No one ever did, until two years ago when I found the love I so desperately needed had resided in myself all along.
So I struggled to overcome depression, and soon lost battles became triumphs.
I learned that in order to be happy in this life, I must embrace my emotions
So instead of pushing the sadness down, I let it gradually flow through me, and eventually I was able to pull it close, and let it consume me.
My inner soul spoke to my sadness as one would speak to an old childhood friend......
If you tuck away your sadness, it will only grow. But if you take the time to notice your pain and accept it, then you shall begin the process of healing.
No matter what is going on in our lives, sadness resides within us all.
We experience anger, confusion, hopelessness, heartache, and loneliness.
But there is also the feelings of joy, passion, excitement, pleasure, and acceptance.
There is no light without darkness.
Life is all about finding a balance, including with our emotions.
Both sadness and happiness exist equally in our nature. In order to ever truly be happy, we must take the time to recognize this.
The next time an undesirable emotion arises, invite this emotion to stay awhile, give it what it needs, accept it, and move on.
Somewhere deep inside of me was my true self begging for someone to shed the false exterior, so that some love could be pored in the cracks of my heart. I wanted someone to quickly pull me aside with intent and ask if everything was okay, so that FINALLY I could share the sorrow that had been building up.
No one ever did, until two years ago when I found the love I so desperately needed had resided in myself all along.
So I struggled to overcome depression, and soon lost battles became triumphs.
I learned that in order to be happy in this life, I must embrace my emotions
So instead of pushing the sadness down, I let it gradually flow through me, and eventually I was able to pull it close, and let it consume me.
My inner soul spoke to my sadness as one would speak to an old childhood friend......
If you tuck away your sadness, it will only grow. But if you take the time to notice your pain and accept it, then you shall begin the process of healing.
No matter what is going on in our lives, sadness resides within us all.
We experience anger, confusion, hopelessness, heartache, and loneliness.
But there is also the feelings of joy, passion, excitement, pleasure, and acceptance.
There is no light without darkness.
Life is all about finding a balance, including with our emotions.
Both sadness and happiness exist equally in our nature. In order to ever truly be happy, we must take the time to recognize this.
The next time an undesirable emotion arises, invite this emotion to stay awhile, give it what it needs, accept it, and move on.
No one comes out of this life alive, none of us come out completely unscratched; we all will endure hardships over the course of our lifetime.
Pain is inescapable.
But we should not hide our pain, because by doing so we become a prisoner.
Becoming a prisoner of our own emotions is not a necessary component to the process of feeling negative energy.
If you need help dealing with your emotional pain here are three ways to begin the process:
1. Feel your pain
Begin to finally feel the extent of your emotions. No longer should you be in denial or use distractions to avoid what you’re feeling. The longer you avoided, the more damage it can cause to you. Time can’t simply heal all of your wounds, awareness must take control.
Pain is inescapable.
But we should not hide our pain, because by doing so we become a prisoner.
Becoming a prisoner of our own emotions is not a necessary component to the process of feeling negative energy.
If you need help dealing with your emotional pain here are three ways to begin the process:
1. Feel your pain
Begin to finally feel the extent of your emotions. No longer should you be in denial or use distractions to avoid what you’re feeling. The longer you avoided, the more damage it can cause to you. Time can’t simply heal all of your wounds, awareness must take control.
2. Extract the lesson to be learned
During a tragedy we often find ourselves asking, “Why did this have to happen to me? What did I do to deserve this?” Learning from my own experience I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. You are put through a situation, not to be punished, but rather to learn something and to grow as an individual. So rather then asking questions, discover the meaning. You might find that you are stronger then you ever were before coming into the situation. There is a value in every experience. If you seek the lesson then the pain is lessened.
3. Seek counseling.
Every individual heals at a different rate. But if you find that your pain is continuing to grow strong, as you get weaker, then it is time to seek professional help. Now I know that when some of you read those words, ‘professional help’, you may have cringed and experienced a feeling of disgust. I know the feeling; when someone first mentions those four words, “Go see a therapist” you feel the need to instantly guard up. I was once at a point in my life where I desperately needed outside help if I was ever to prosper. I felt it meant there was something wrong with me, or maybe that I was crazy. I promise you, it doesn't mean your crazy, or that there's anything wrong with you. It just means that you are at a point in your life where you need to seek guidance from someone other then yourself. There is no shame in asking help along the way. You do not need to suffer alone.